If there was one thing that the Doctor and Dean could agree upon it was this: they were fine. 

Completely and totally fine. No, they didn’t need to talk about it. Yes, they meant it Sam, quit turning this into a chick flick moment and go away. 

Yes, they were fine. 

But sometimes they weren’t. 

In these rare moments, when Dean stopped being okay and the Doctor wasn’t alright they’d gravitate towards one another. There was an understanding, two proud stubborn beings who were used to carrying the weight of the world. They could never share the burden, because it would crush anyone else.

That’s what they believed anyway (they only had to ask and others would have rushed in to help). But it was okay, since they were so alike in this sense they felt they could shoulder a bit more weight, if only to finally allow the other to rest for a while. 

One day Dean came to the Doctor while he worked on his TARDIS, expressionless and clutching at a battered trench coat. He sank to the floor and the Doctor put an arm around him. They were for silent for the longest time; Amy and Rory came and went as quietly as possible, skirting around the edges of the room. Finally Dean spoke. 

“I miss him.” 

“I know, me too.”

After that the Doctor took the coat and hung it on the rack beside the double doors. Dean no longer had to carry the reminder of the friend they had lost.

The Doctor could handle it. 

Because he was fine. 

They have all just risen as one and said that no, of course Castiel is not dead. He’s just chilling at the bottom of the lake. 

And Dean gets drunk and goes fishing using burgers as bait.

And Sam goes and shouts relationship advice into the lake and offers hugs to try and entice him out. 

And Bobby is just like, fuck this shit, and is quietly learning how to scuba dive so he can go get his idjit angel out. 

Oh yeah, and Jimmy is seriously unimpressed with this nonsense and he and Cas are going to be having a serious talk once this is all sorted out. 

Damn it I love you guys. 

So let’s suppose for a moment Dean wasn’t feeling as guilty as fuck and was the cocky son of a bitch we all know and love. 

“Sure, call your third witness.”

And Osiris smiles this smile that just says oh damn son, you’re screwed now. 

“I call Castiel angel of the Judeo Christian God to the stand.”

The Winchester’s faces fall; Dean starts trying to work out how much it’s going to suck to die this time round, Sam just tries to work out if he can throw his brother over his shoulder and run from the room. 

Castiel takes the stand, still sodden from the lake and looking faintly confused about the whole thing. 

“Castiel,” begins Osiris “would you please tell the court just why Dean should feel so guilty for killing you?”

Castiel turns his head to stare at Osiris curiously. “Is that why I’m here?”

He doesn’t look confused anymore, just downright irritated.

“Dean didn’t kill me, I’m not dead.” And he stands up, kicks over his chair. “Castiel out bitches!”

Then leaves in a cloud of BAMF and suddenly every virgin in a ten mile radius is magically deflowered. 

Sam and Dean fistpump in triumph (or Dean would if he wasn’t still tied up).

Osiris would wonder if it was too early for retirement. 

heathyr:

Castiel, why’d you have to fuck up to this magnitude?

I mean, seriously.

You should get a medal.

Actually I think they all deserve medals;

And I’m saving a special one for these guys;

ammosart:

Okay then,  all done.

Happy birthday (a few days early), Hannah!  I hope you like it :)  This was her suggestion, and I took it and ran.  Or maybe zonked, whichever is more appropriate.

Here’s the fullsize for embiggening, and a big, close-up shot of the main figures of interest.

Dean: What the hell is that?

Doctor: It’s a kitten! Well, not a kitten per say, it’s Castiel’s kitten. I thought he might like something fluffy that he can love.

Dean: Well we’re not keeping it.

Doctor and Castiel: ….

Dean: We’re not! Don’t give me that look.

Castiel: It would be cruel to abandon Dean now, we have already bonded.

Dean: I’m sorry…what?

Martha: The Doctor told him to name it after something important, so he named it after you.

Dean: Well…I guess…maybe…he could stay. But you’re looking after it!

Doctor: Excellent, allons-y Castiel, let’s get him settled. 

Castiel: Dean, you are very…sweet. 

Dean: Cas! This is hardly the time - 

Castiel: I was talking to the cat. 

Damn it! Why didn’t you give him a sign!?

Four times the Doctor tried to play matchmaker and one time he didn’t: The Doctor knows a lot, he knows how to speed along the slow process by which humans fall in love, what he doesn’t know is how to help a hunter and an angel fall in love. 

PG-13

Written for trensu’s prompt “I kind of want to see the Doctor attempt to play matchmaker for   Dean and Cas. Like he did in “The Tennant” and with Kazran”

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Sam: How long have they been at it for?

Rory: A couple of hours and I think that’s their fifth bottle.

Dean: Sixth. My money’s on the angelic Charlie Sheen over there. No way she can last much longer. 

Sam: She’s lasted longer than anyone else has, even you Dean….are we sure she’s human?

Rory: Hey! That is my wife you’re talking about.

Dean: So that’s an ‘I don’t know’, Ben Hurr?

Amy: *slurring slightly* Ya know Cas…you’re really cute. I mean seriously adorable, I just want to pinch your checks.

Castiel: Erm…thank you. *turning to Dean* I don’t know what she’s trying to say.

Amy: I want to bite your nose.

Rory: Okay I think that’s enough for one night Amy!

Amy: Is this uh…normal? I mean, is it like, some kind of divine thing for angels to stuff their faces with burgers? 

Dean: He got cursed by Famine a little while back, it’s taking a bit longer than usual to wear off. 

Amy: Ah.

Dean: Yeah. What about yours…does he usually…?

Amy: Yes. 

Dean: So it’s a Timelord thing?

Amy: Nope, it’s a Doctor thing. Don’t ever eat his cooking, I’m warning you now. 

Dean: Noted, and while we’re at the ‘Caring and Maintaining of your Otherworldly Beings’ section of the conversation, don’t try to outdrink Cas. You’ll lose

Amy: Learnt that the hard way did we? Well he’s yet to come up against me, I’m Scottish, it’s in my blood.